reasoningwithvampires:

To be honest, I’m not sure that my diagrams are 100% correct because I was never taught how to diagram sentences in school.

As a student, I always found diagramming sentences to be a tedious and opaque  process. I understood all the various parts of speech and how they worked thanks to Schoolhouse Rock, and it just seemed silly to me how my English teachers always wanted me to turn words into a picture to prove I understood how the words worked. 

I suppose I viewed diagramming sentences the same way kids in math viewed word problems. Why do you have to take perfectly good numbers and symbols we can understand just fine, and turn them into some rambling excuse of a story about railway timetables? 

When I was young, I used to dread the implied possibility that we would close some horrible numbers -> words -> pictures cycle by arriving in art class one day and being instructed to turn Van Gogh’s Starry Night or da Vinci’s Mona Lisa into an arithmetic expression of some sort. Instead, I walked into math class one day to be confronted by graphs of various mystery functions we were to identify, which was almost as bad. 

Since I’m naturally mathematical, people are often shocked to discover I am absolutely horrible at calculus, completely hated the subject, and honestly think it’s just an insane form of mental masturbation designed by people so geeky they won’t even have sex with themselves. Right around tenth grade is where I went “wait, this is all bullshit.” I still don’t entirely understand what a definite integral is, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen one and nobody can count to it and it’s not necessary to calculate the tip in a restaurant.